a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
