I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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