I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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