Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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