You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
