that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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