OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
