i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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