Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
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