Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
