Where is the hickey?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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