This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
wow bdsm is so cute
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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