He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
