I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
They have beer where we have blood.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
