all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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