MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
