i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
