Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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