The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
