i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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