What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
