my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
