So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
