im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
