erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
