That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
