I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
