I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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