tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
The air was thick with penises
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
