real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
There r osticjed everywhere
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
