Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
