Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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