I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
