Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
