the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
