i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
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