he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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