Dual....:-)
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
