dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
