I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You can't special order awesome
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
BRING THE BAGELS
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
