I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sobbing to NWA
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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