recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
