I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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