girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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