I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
