don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
