at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
