She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
