it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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