On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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