need another drink. this is the easiest way
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
