I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
